2013, that’s when it hit me!

I turned 30 and most of my close friends had already started having kids and I was just.. Well, I was still trying. To conceive, that is. One after another advises received from my family and friends, but of course, one can only listen and hope for the best.

It was the hardest thing to do, having to wonder when my time will come and at the same time juggling with work. Most people advised me to slow down on work and focus more on myself. But you see, I was so attached to my work (still am hehe), I couldn’t really take a break and I was being quite hard on myself as well. Still there were times when I just dropped everything and took a break from work and really focus on conceiving but I was in no luck.

Fast forward to 2011, I went to see four gynes from different hospitals that were recommended by friends and customers that I’ve met. After few check ups, I decided to do IUI at KL Fertility in Jalan Dungun. The first gyne I chose to consult with was Dr. Helena. I loved Dr Helena, she was warm, very soft spoken and I even loved it there at KL Fertility because all the nurses were very reliable, all of them know what they are doing. Since IUI was new to me, they actually guide me through the whole process. If you’re planning to do IUI, I suggest you make your own research before you actually go for consultation. It really helps!

In 2012, I met a customer that advised me to go and see Dr. Aziz. She shared her experience on how she had problems conceiving and after the treatment with Dr Aziz, she managed to get pregnant. I took every chances I had and went to see him and I managed to undergo laparoscopy. By the way for your information, Dr Aziz does not specialized in gynecology but instead he is more focused on cancer patients but I could tell you I got lucky because he agreed to tend to me.

After meeting Dr Aziz, he then referred me to Dr Prashant from KL Fertility. Yes I have heard of him and just when I was about to start with my IVF, I changed my mind and decided to go to Pantai to see Dr Adilla. But things did not go well for me with Dr Adilla. I remember how distraught I was when they told me all eight embryos died on the day of the transfer with no explanation given. Perhaps because I was not fully ready and the workload I had back then just added more stress to my body that it could not work well with my medication. But I don’t know. I kept telling myself that it was okay because perhaps my rezeki belum sampai but it did break my heart to pieces though. For the first time I was confident but sadly it didn’t turn out ok.

I know I’m not one to give advises or anything like that since I am quite new to this but I’m going to share my thoughts anyway (based on my experience) before you start on IVF treatment.

First thing first, it is important for you to prepare your body and mind before you start on this treatment. Be aware that this process is painful and it is also depending on your strength level. Once you begin your treatment, you need to understand that it is an emotional journey as the medication will have effects on you. In my case, my medication made me moody. And if you’re a workaholic, you need to slow down on your work a little, girlfriend! Be sure to delegate the task to your colleagues and try not to do everything yourself. Remember, a healthy body and mind will ease the treatment, InshaAllah. Also you need to remember that this journey isn’t for you to go through alone. Get support especially from your Mr. Husband because we’re both in this together, yes? Family and friends’ support would also be good for you because at least you know, you are not doing this alone.

Research is super important! Before you ever decided on which gyne to choose, you go to google and do your own research about the treatment you’re gonna get. Research about all of the clinics or hospitals or gyne centres that you think might best suit you or a place that you’re most comfortable with. And just like I said, in order for you to do this, you need to stay calm and relax. Once you have decided on which clinic/hospital to go, you gotta make sure the people working in the building are reliable especially the nurses who’d have to attend to you. Given that it will be your first time and considering you have a little to zero knowledge about the treatment you’re going to get, the right doctors and nurses could really help you to get through your whole treatment process.

The most difficult part is to prepare yourself mentally. Let’s face it, we all would feel like this whole process is going to succeed with just ONE trial but honey, it does not work that way. Always bare in mind that there are 40% chances that it will not work out and by reminding yourself of this one true fact, you will be ready to face the results. I remember going home and cried my eyeballs out because the treatment just won’t give me good results. Sometimes I  blame it on myself but I chose to remain silent and not discuss about it. Usually after a check up, I would go back to work and make myself busy because I refused to dwell on the bad result. Traveling also helped too!

 Truth be told (not that any of you don’t know already), IVF is a tiring, emotional process. I taught myself to persevere every time I received bad results from my gyne. I learned to be extra patience and determination. I forgot how many times I tried giving up but I am not one to quit so easily so I kept trying and trying until it gave me good results. The whole process doesn’t stop until I deliver my babies! I’m glad I decided to go through all those emotional and painful roller coaster ride because these babies, they are worth it.